True Funny Dog Story-Chew My Collar Off for Me and I’ll Chew Yours
Most dog owners have endless funny stories that they can tell you about their dogs and they can often revolve around the very things we are trying to stop them from doing. By far, some of my funniest dog stories have involved the challenge of trying to stop dog chewing.
Here is a real life story told in my dogs’ own words. They are two Rottweiler brothers who were constantly looking for new trouble but were the best dogs an owner could want.
[outside back door...]
Sergeant: “I wonder what’s up with these chains today?”
Major: “I don’t know. We’ve been here for a year and he never ties us up before leaving for work.”
Sergeant: “I think he is pissed at something.”
Major: “You think? Maybe because you ate the air conditioning pipe yesterday.”
Sergeant: “Well, he put this spicey, hot paste all over it so I thought it was a sign.”
Major: “It was a sign–but it wasn’t a sign to eat it.”
Sergeant: “Whatever, I’m going to sleep.”
Sergeant: “What time is it?”
Major: “It must be at least 4:00pm because Jimmy just came by on his afternoon walk.”
Sergeant: “This is bull—T. We have been chained up all day.”
Major: “You shouldn’t have eaten the pipe.”
Sergeant: “It was plastic. I need to stretch. I’m going to get out of this thing.”
Major: “That will be a neat trick Superdog. That chain is industrial strength.”
Sergeant: “But, the collar isn’t”
Major: “Good point.”
Sergeant: “Can you reach over here?”
Major: “Barely. I guess there’s a reason he tied us on opposite ends.”
Sergeant: “See if you can reach my collar and chew it off for me.”
Major: “Okay.” Chomp. Chew. (chain and collar falls to the floor)
Sergeant: “Freedom. That’s what I’m talking about!”
Major: “What about mine?”
Sergeant: “Move your big head so I can get to it.”
Major: “Please do not get dog spit in my coat.”
Sergeant: “Shut up and move your head…there.”
Major: “What are you going to do with the collars?”
Sergeant: “I’m going to eat mine. It tastes just like a rawhide bone to me.”
Major: “Yeah, but it has metal studs on it.”
Sergeant: “They won’t hurt you. Besides, you eat rocks.”
Major: “It wasn’t that bad but I’m not swallowing that buckle thing.”
Sergeant: “Me either. Just push them over there in the corner. He won’t notice.”
Major: “Oh crap, he’s home.”
Sergeant: “Quick…lay down.”
Me: “What the …” (laughing)
–END
